"HER THING" - Diary of a Prisoner's Wife

"Her Thing" - Episode 39: November 27, 2015 (NARCISSIST FALL-OUT)

April 21, 2021 Maria Lindbloom Season 1 Episode 39
"HER THING" - Diary of a Prisoner's Wife
"Her Thing" - Episode 39: November 27, 2015 (NARCISSIST FALL-OUT)
Chapters
"HER THING" - Diary of a Prisoner's Wife
"Her Thing" - Episode 39: November 27, 2015 (NARCISSIST FALL-OUT)
Apr 21, 2021 Season 1 Episode 39
Maria Lindbloom

IN THIS EPISODE:

Well, this is a heavy episode. First I start off lightly, by talking about Black Friday and reminiscing about some of the times earlier in my life that I went Black Friday shopping, and how much it meant to me to be part of the festivities kicking off the Christmas season since I'd been born and raised a Muslim that didn't celebrate Christmas.

But the bulk of this recording is me dealing with the hurt and the emotions of getting a curt text reply back from that guy who was my "bestie" the year before, Gunner's best friend and supposed business partner. Looking back, I feel so awful for my poor little self back then. What I didn't know then that I know now was that I was probably dealing with a true narcissist who "love bombed" me and then gaslighted me before abandoning me. If you don't know anything about narcissists, it's a real clinical psychological profile of a person who inherently needs a constant source of admiration, appreciation, and love (called "narcissistic supply"). It's not always romantic. Narcissists can also seek out narcissistic supply in family members, work relationships, and in my case, friendships. But when you, the person they love bombed, start to tip the pedestal over that you had placed the narcissist on (like I did with this person), they typically follow the same response pattern. They'll  back off,  attack you, make you think you're crazy, and then completely abandon you--dropping you as if you never existed in their life at all. I didn't know any of this back then. I was a sensitive, empathetic friend who felt guilty for hurting him. Sure, some of that guilt was justified because I had overreacted. But at the end of the day, I know now that  my actions didn't deserve that kind of harsh treatment.  He'll make an appearance a few more times in the months to come, messing with my head as always, and doing more things to make me think I've lost my mind.  It was better for everyone that we just went our separate ways. And through it all, Alan remained my champion and cheerleader.

Since that time, I'd run into other friends who've dealt with narcissists in one way or another. It's quite a tough thing to encounter, because it's all so irrational and not normal. I believe, though, that my experience and lessons learned here helped those friends that I met later on and assisted them in coping with the confusion of it all. 

Anyway, as always, all comments, feedback, and shout outs are welcome. Please drop me a line if you want to say hi!

-Maria

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mlindbloom)

Show Notes

IN THIS EPISODE:

Well, this is a heavy episode. First I start off lightly, by talking about Black Friday and reminiscing about some of the times earlier in my life that I went Black Friday shopping, and how much it meant to me to be part of the festivities kicking off the Christmas season since I'd been born and raised a Muslim that didn't celebrate Christmas.

But the bulk of this recording is me dealing with the hurt and the emotions of getting a curt text reply back from that guy who was my "bestie" the year before, Gunner's best friend and supposed business partner. Looking back, I feel so awful for my poor little self back then. What I didn't know then that I know now was that I was probably dealing with a true narcissist who "love bombed" me and then gaslighted me before abandoning me. If you don't know anything about narcissists, it's a real clinical psychological profile of a person who inherently needs a constant source of admiration, appreciation, and love (called "narcissistic supply"). It's not always romantic. Narcissists can also seek out narcissistic supply in family members, work relationships, and in my case, friendships. But when you, the person they love bombed, start to tip the pedestal over that you had placed the narcissist on (like I did with this person), they typically follow the same response pattern. They'll  back off,  attack you, make you think you're crazy, and then completely abandon you--dropping you as if you never existed in their life at all. I didn't know any of this back then. I was a sensitive, empathetic friend who felt guilty for hurting him. Sure, some of that guilt was justified because I had overreacted. But at the end of the day, I know now that  my actions didn't deserve that kind of harsh treatment.  He'll make an appearance a few more times in the months to come, messing with my head as always, and doing more things to make me think I've lost my mind.  It was better for everyone that we just went our separate ways. And through it all, Alan remained my champion and cheerleader.

Since that time, I'd run into other friends who've dealt with narcissists in one way or another. It's quite a tough thing to encounter, because it's all so irrational and not normal. I believe, though, that my experience and lessons learned here helped those friends that I met later on and assisted them in coping with the confusion of it all. 

Anyway, as always, all comments, feedback, and shout outs are welcome. Please drop me a line if you want to say hi!

-Maria

Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/mlindbloom)